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Rules all movies must now follow

That’s it. I’m sick and tired of watching movies (and occasionally a book will be in violation of this too) which do the same unentertaining things. I think it comes from movies trying to be the biggest and best movie ever so they feel the need to do everything that other successful movies have done. I now decree that movies are no longer allowed to:

1.       Have our hero stand in a trial before the tribe/kingdom/nation/planet leader because he committed a crime while ignorantly waltzing into their territory.

2.       Have the daughter of the tribe/kingdom/nation/planet leader fall in love with our hero

a.       At first sight.

b.      The second time she sees him and he is able to do something which is difficult for the men she knows to accomplish.

c.       Ever.

3.       Have the leader of the tribe/kingdom/nation/planet encourage our hero to marry one of the locals. (While this rule is the least broken it never makes sense when it happens)

4.       Have the hero be challenged to a duel by the chief warrior/captain of the guard/guy who has a crush on the leader’s daughter.

5.       Have duels which are mandatory to be to the death because

a.       It follows the old ways.

b.      It’s tradition.

c.       It is the only way to find out who was telling the truth.

6.       Have our hero in a mandatory duel to the death which results in the hero defeating his challenger, but in a way that spares his life which results in

a.       The challenger being killed anyway.

b.      Everyone brushes it off like nothing happened.

7.       Have a situation where the hero is tasked with capturing/training/finding the largest/meanest/rarest worm/dragon/grape fruit, and he is able to do so on his first (even second) attempt. Especially if in doing so, the hero becomes better than the male character whose plausible reason for not liking this stranger is because he instinctively knows that the stranger/hero is better than him and will take is job/girlfriend.

8.       Have the hero be unquestioningly brought into the leader’s primary decision making group/councilors. Especially if the survival of the tribe/kingdom/nation/planet is at hand.

There we go a simple list of items that movies are no longer allowed to put into their movies because we are all sick and tired of them happening.

Categories: Entertainment
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